In Doing the Watching: I’ve Discovered You Are Extraordinary.

“There’s a container of ordinary that I have lived in for so long.” This is the statement that I wrote on a notepad, ripped it off the top, and tucked it inside my journal. If you know me deeply, on the most intimate and up close and personal level (like “hey Pam, that’s just TMI, stop please.”) you know I am going through ‘something’ right now. It’s BIG and DAUNTING. Heartache. It’s pushing and pulling me in ‘extra’ ordinary ways.

It’s a ‘drama queen’ saga (still trying to let go of those days and that part of myself). This heartbreak is a supreme catalyst moment for me, and it is my present-day-journey. In the process, I have reinvigorated my prayer life, my trust in my Lord (yes, Christ-Jesus), and drawn in closer and in deeper relationship with my truest (and most dear) of friends. Thank you, God, for them. And your Grace. They are, you are, extraordinary.

But here’s my best part:

In this heartache, I have also re-discovered something else: the  ‘minor characters’ in my life story. They matter more to me than ever. Their souls and stories I find myself in terms of endearment with, silently praying for and rejoicing with them.

Their stories

Are

Ones of Hope.

Threads of Love that delicately make up the fabric of my day.

There is the fellow-single mom who is fighting cancer with such dignity and grace, that I want to pour healing oil into every cell of her body. She will be miraculously cured.

There’s the dapper-divorced gentleman (who grieved the loss of his marriage around the same time I grieved mine), who took a HUGE risk, traveled over-sees to meet and now marry the woman of his dreams! I wish I could gift them a hundred years of joy together.

There’s the fellow-instructor who, in many ways, is my instructional mirror: She’s the read-a-holic with her students, as I am the write-aholic! In my mind, we traverse book clubs and writer’s retreats together in our old age!

And, then there is the friend, who frequently finds herself ill, be it with anxiety or much needed surgeries. She is desiring daily to become emotionally and physically stronger. In my heart, I see her already as a picture of fit and healthy. How I’d love to give that snapshot to her someday.

And, there’s the ‘new teacher on the block’! So gifted, talented, conscientious and dedicated she reminds me of why we do this work of teaching: PASSION. She’s ‘capital I’ Inspirational. She is gifting me with a renewed faith in our profession.

And, there’s all the gorgeous young souls, who I pass by in the school hallway, and who sit in my classroom eager (and sometimes not so eager!) to learn, to write, to share. These “minor characters” I adore most. Because, in my daily-struggle, in my “unbeknownst” to them heart-ache, they accept me.

They need not know my pain, my fears, my regrets. They simply accept my smile, my lessons, my feedback on their writing, the strategies I offer. Sometimes we muddle and sometimes we rejoice in harmony. And I accept all they offer too. It’s quite lovely being minor characters in cahoots!

They (meaning all the above) are really not “minor characters”, by any stretch!

I remember a couple years ago, right after my divorce, a powerful “major character” in my life script told me: “People will be watching you in the years to come as you grow.”

I took that to heart back then.

And I have maneuvered through life a bit since then. Still maneuvering!

So, there has been a bit to watch.  It really has been ‘ordinary’, however.

And, little did I know, when those words were spoken over me (be it blessing or curse) I’d ever feel more inspired to be the one “doing” the watching. Discovering the extraordinary. Wanting to be a blessing, rather than the blessed.

Sure, my own story is compelling

(definitely more to me than to anyone else! Thank you, God!).

But Your stories are Hopeful.

Gorgeously Hopeful.

And, at this time, Hope is the place I prefer to stand. Because it’s extraordinary to watch You maneuver through life a bit.  It’s extraordinary to be even a bird’s eye piece of Your life script. I am Your “minor character”!

It’s extraordinary to take my eyes off myself, look up to God for my faith, and then look forward to seeing You. Because I find You extraordinary.

Because ‘minor’ or ‘major’ You are extraordinary.

I Thank God for You.

Blessings and peace,

Pamela Rae.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements